I hardly know what it's about besides a "swashbuckling, Three Musketeer-like" book. It was suggested to a forum I'm on and quickly decided it wasn't for me.
First few pages were all talking about sex and how one of their "commanders"(?) was having his way with at least 5 different women that evening. Then there was commentary on it.
Yeah I don't need or want this.
I remember seeing this in the library as a kid, but because I didn't like to read much I never picked it up. Shel Silverstens' poetry books were fun and interesting to listen to in my elementary school, so when my son brought this home from his school library I was kind of excited. It would be new for the both of us. I had heard some not so favorable critics without much of an explanation as to why they disliked it, but "hey, we'll give it a chance."
A boy and an apple tree. She, the tree, was happy when the boy played around her, climbed into her branches, eat the apples she produced, and slept in her shade; he even carves his "Me + T" with a heart around it, like people do. (Okay, that's sweet.) But then he grows up and she is sad. He comes back older and she asks if he'll play like he used to. But no, he's too busy and wants money. "Can you give me money?" (My thoughts: "We'll he's a selfish brat. I hope he learns a lesson.") "No, but you can take my apples and sell them for money." ("Okay...") So he does and leaves. "And she's happy." (Alright...) He comes back again and again and she keeps giving, he branches so he can build a house, her trunk so he can build a boat, and now she is left seriously only being a stump. ("What the heck, book?!)
By the time he said he wanted a boat, my son started crying. He didn't want to finish it because now this kind tree has given everything and now she is practically nothing. "He killed her," my son said. I'm like, "Yeah, what the crap."
At the end, he comes back as an old, hunched man and (not even apologizing) ends up sitting on her, the stump, so he can rest. "And she's happy."
No, she's not happy. She has used up everything that she has--he has literally chopped her down--to "help" this ungrateful boy. Yes, he played and had fun at the beginning, but all he did was take and take and take and gave nothing in return. Ever. The tree's thought process was pretty much, "If he's around, it's enough." No the heck it's not. For a small moment of him being a child, he was kind, but decades pass without him around and when he does, all he wants is a little "some'em some'em" and that's enough for her. No. He is a toxic, abusive person who only wants money, houses, boats, and he literally sits on her in the end. He uses and abuses her.
I've seen enough ladies around me who are being abused domestically, some don't know how to get out, some refuse to see it as abuse saying "I can change him" or "If I give more he'll love me like he used to" or "I'm here for the kids" or whatever other variation there is. That is exactly what this tree is doing. She's giving permission to be used and abused and, again, literally chopped down. She's no longer a tree!
Women, and men, all over the place give up so much of their energy, time, at points their whole being for the relationships in their life. For mom's and dad's, we give so much even bringing them into the world where we have the high possibility of dying. We stay up late. We get up early. But for the most part, there is a constant love from our children which makes it all worth it. There are constantly times that let us know that having kids is worth it. We watch the children become men and women and have children of their own. We get things back. We get time and Mother's Day and Father's Day cards and weird paintings or drawings or super odd play-do statues, and good night hugs and kisses. We don't just give and get nothing in return.
For healthy relationships in a marriage, there is time together, conversation, intimacies in all their variety, dinners, dates, folding laundry together, spring cleaning and repair projects, and so many other things. Good, healthy relationships aren't something that you go 50/50 on. Both people put 100% into their marriage. They constantly show their love, devotion, and loyalty. You give just as much as you are given.
I saw other critics of this book saying that it shows "perfect altruism," which is "a belief in or practice of disinterest or selfless concern for the well-being of others." That is well and good, in my opinion, for short term relationships or the beginning of relationships. But for long lasting, healthy relationships, this is a horrible idea. This is a way of abuse. If someone were to do this all the time, they would be left with nothing. They would be a heap on the ground, a stump in the dirt, and are then left with the ability to not help anyone at all. This tree is no longer a tree, no longer has apples or branches or trunk. A person isn't a person anymore. All of their once hobbies fade, their longer lasting cheer recedes, and they become hollow and beyond unhappy.
I would be all for this book being banned because there are so many people who already thing this is okay, "normal," "if I just do a little more..." It's not okay. These are unhealthy relationships that need counseling or to be stopped and ended.
It's not worth it ladies.
It's not worth it gents.
Kids, don't me selfish. Be giving. But also know that self care is important too. Monitoring your own self and not becoming a stump is more important. If you don't, then you will end up with nothing more to really give.
***
How it should have ended: not using a friend for money or gain, but as he grew older, he could have brought his own children to the tree and let them play in her branches. Then "she was happy."
